[Verse 1: Mac Miller]
Baby, baby, baby - yeah
Baby, baby, baby - yeah
I know… girl… girl… girl… girl...
I see you lookin' good
Wearin' that T-shirt
And nothin' else but some purple panties
Your ass cheeks bouncin' off each other
like they don't get along
But I'mma make 'em love each other
I'mma make 'em become the best of friends
Those ass cheeks, girl…
Them ass cheeks like, twins…
Which one was born first, baby?
Said which one is older, and by how many minutes?
Girl - your ass cheeks've got a mind of their own
Which one had better SAT scores, girl?
I don't know… I don't know…
Baby, if your ass had a face
What expression would it be making when
I put my tongue inside that asshole and lick around like
I'm tryna have some shitty soup
Girl, fuckin' with you is like
Fuckin' with a girl with a nice ass
That's a lot of ass
An don't forget about them tithes, girl
Don't forget about them nipples, no!
They get hard when I rub 'em gently
And pinch 'em just a little bit
But I ain't tryna hurt you, girl
No, I don't wanna hurt you, girl
Unless you talk about the way that
your pussy gon' be hurtin' after I get done with it
Girl, I'm just tryna have some fun with it
You ain't nothin' but a slutty-ass hoe
Who fucks every rapper that comes to your city
But goddamn you're so pretty
When that ass is in leggings, girl
It don't matter the pattern, or if they're just solid black
Oh, I want that ass - you've got that pack
I ain't talkin' 'bout no cellulite
I'mma tell you, right - baby, we gon' have a swell night
And I don't know if you've ever seen something like me
When I pull out my dick, girl
I plan on fuckin' you so good
Damn… I hope you like the way my dick feels
Put it in your mouth, girl
Don't you dare bite my shit
'Cause I'll punch you in the motherfuckin' face
I'll hit a bitch… oh, I'll hit a bitch
But if you suck my dick good then we can get along
Might even put the head in this song
Probably not… ooh, probably not
Girl, how does my dick taste after a show
when I still haven't showered?
You suck on my balls, you a champion
Girl, you a champion… girl, baby, baby
You and me… nobody wants us to be together, baby
But it's okay… I'mma fuck you anyway
And I heard that Kendrick fucked ya
I heard that Rocky fucked ya
I hear that every single rapper
that been in your city this month fucked ya
But you still wouldn't fuck Schoolboy Q and I feel ya
But baby, you can love me right
And I know that your money's tight
And I ain't gonna give you shit
But a meal and a glass of Henny and this dick, bitch
Don't come at me for money, no
'Cause I'mma tell you youse an ugly hoe and slap you in the face
Punch you, give that ass a bloody nose
Ooh… I'm fuckin' crazy
And I wouldn't marry you if you fuckin' paid me
A million dollars… 'cause you ain't shit
But a real good pussy
And to be honest that pussy ain't even that good
Ijust think it is because when you horny, everything seems incredible
You probably just a regular-ass bitch and I'm trippin'
Oh, I'm on a roll, girl, I'm trippin'
Ride the dick, get wild, girl
From the side, do a split
Turn around, now suck my dick…
Baby, suck my dick, oh…
I love you, girl - psych!
I just told your mother that
And then I fucked her too while your daddy watched
I'm crazy, girl
Better work out, I don't like my bitches lazy, girl
Don't get lazy, 'cause I'll kick your ass right to the curb
I know I'm gettin' fat, so are you down with that?
Ooh, yeah, give that ass a slap, yeah, I like it, girl
And don't you try and put your tongue in my asshole
'Cause that's way too nasty for me
And I ain't gay, but I like a girl to rub on my asshole
when she sucks my dick - is that weird?
Maybe, girl - when I eat your pussy can you feel my beard?
It's crazy, girl
I'm a nasty motherfucker in the Gap wearin' khakis, motherfucker
And don't you dare ask me for a rubber
'Cause I don't have those
Aye! What the fuck's wrong?
Can't I talk about your ass in a song?
Have you ever seen that ass in a song?
Ooh… get low, baby! Oh, girl...
I'll fuck you while I'm listening to Taylor Swift
Ooh, that's some player shit
See, at the end of the night
I might get you a Gatorade 'cause bitch you need to catch your breath
'Cause I just fucked the shit out of you
Ooh, I fucked the shit out of you…
But don't you bleed on my shits, girl, you bled on my sheets
Now they've been red for a week
You bled on my sheets and stained them
My dreams have been red for a week
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah…
And I just want you to know that you are not mine
I heard you fucked Justin Bieber
Let me tell you that's fine
Oh baby, that's fine
But let me ask you one question, girl
Was his dick bigger than mine?
Don't tell me yes… I might get depressed
Oh… I'm walkin' in right, eh?
And I see… the milk section
What kind of milk do I get?
Baby, what kind of milk do I get?
There's so many choices
So much variety of milk
I couldn't help but think of you
And all the things I want to do in the milk section
Girl, me and you is like the milk section
But sometimes you need orange juice
And sometimes you need a little bit of both
But don't drink too much milk
'Cause you'll be congested
Oh, and something manifested in my mind
I said: "Hey! Hey! Cashier, you dirty… give me the correct change!"
And I can't deal with that right now
'Cause my mom gave me twenty dollars and said:
"Bring back my damn change!"
You gon' make that lady go insane…
Yeah… you gon' make her lose her mind...
I know what you like when you think of the perfect man
I'll bet you didn't think of me!
And that's why I hate you, girl
But love is what we make it, girl
And you a little sloppy naked, girl
You might wanna tighten that up…
'Cause ain't no famous celebrity gon' fuck you
When you look like that
You gotta get good, start eatin' on the right track
And baby, it's alright that
The first night, you let me pipe that
Never been with no white rapper…
How was it?
Ooh, how was it, girl?
Was it everything you dreamed, or was it disappointing?
Oh shit, that might need some ointment
You ain't no hoe, you just know what you want
And I got what you need
Ooh, I got what you need
So give that pussy to me
And I'mma do the right thing
I'mma do the white thing
And treat that pussy disrespectfully
Oh, your pussy don't get what it deserves
I'mma cum fast - it's cool
Jack myself off then I come back
Ooh… fuck that
Baby, I'll fuck you and rap in your ear at the same time
Pick a song on my jukebox, girl
And I can sing to you
If you've got some friends, please bring 'em too
'Cause we could have a threesome
Sorry, I think I missed that note
I missed that note
Let me tell you this story
While I was walking at the flea market the other day
And I saw…
And I scored, 'cause my living room's lacking some light
So I bargained with the nice lady and said:
"Can I get four for the price of three?"
"It's alright, you see? Just be nice to me."
And she said: "Who the fuck you think I am?"
"This is a 1970 Fiddich lamp, you can't find these anymore"
"They don't even sell them in stores"
That's how serious this dumb bitch was about her lamps
I said: "I know your pussy's dry but this dick gon' make it down"
"Fuckin' tramp - that's what you are"
"So bitch, put them lamps in my car"
"And I'mma go home - and I'mma watch late night television"
"Said I'mma watch late night television, girl"
I can't pick between Leno or Letterman
Leno or Letterman? Leno or Letterman?
And I like Fallon too! And I like Kimmel too!
And I like Craig Ferguson
but I can't understand a single fuckin' word that he says, girl!
All these words in my head, what happened to SNL?
It used to be so funny
And who the fuck is Fred Armisen?
Baby… how'd he get that job?
But let me not spend no time
Hatin' on another man tryna get his
'Cause I'm just tryna get mine
And I'm gettin' off subject…
Isn't this a love song?
This is just a fuck song (whoa)
So that's what I'mma do…
Ooh… baby, let me tell another story
Earlier today, I was flippin' through channels on the cable when I
When I came across one of those commercials for sick dogs
And I hate that shit, I hate eatin' a cheeseburger
And watchin' a video about animal cruelty, 'cause I know that shit happens
But I like to forget it and enjoy my cheeseburger, yeah
'Cause I can't help but like it, girl
I know that… I know they treat those cows like shit
And I ain't really with that
But I ain't no gay-ass vegetarian
I like beef… yeah, I like beef
Oh baby, I like beef
Baby… oh, let me tell you somethin' else:
And I was on the internet the other day
Did somethin' a little vain
I typed myself into Google Verse… Google Search (excuse me)
And what did I see?
Oh, you ask me, what did I see?
I'll tell you right now
I saw some shit
I clicked on the first picture
And I enlarged it to full screen
And what did I see?
You wanna know?
What I saw was so disgusting that I wanted to retire
I'mma tell you now
What I saw, what I motherfuckin' saw
What did I see?
I had something stuck in my teeth…
I think it's lettuce, girl
From that turkey burger I ate when I was out at Turkey World
Oh baby, do you like some jerky girl?
No, no - fuck that!
Suck my motherfuckin' dick
I don't play around - I'mma take this dick, I'mma lay it down
Oh... yo, I'm not gay - I love pussy
Ooh, I dream of pussy - I draw pussy
I write about pussy like it is some type of false idol
It really is - 'cause y'all be prayin' on that pussy
Y'all be worshippin' that pussy
Y'all be on Instagram commenting bitches' pictures
You thirsty for that pussy
And I ain't really with that
Oh, I ain't with that, girl… girl… girl…
Would you fuck me?
Would you fuck me if I looked more like Channing Tatum?
Is that the type of guy you like?
PARENTAL ADVISORY: A bizarre move by Mac Miller. This self-produced, 21-minute open-form track was a gift for his fans on Valentine's Day 2013. Employing Auto-Tune in the style of T-Pain, Kanye West, Lil' Wayne and Future, he created a completely absurd and provocative satire of the trope. You've been warned.